Class Year


Document Type

Blog Post

Publication Date


Department 1

Center for Public Service


I am two people right now.

Split between a constant feeling of having a deep pit in your stomach from fear of not having finished something. Until that pit is anxiousness and for a second you have to take a few deep breaths because you know yourself.

“Shit, I forgot to eat.”

And the anxious feeling is gone because you forgot something as little as eating.

My eyes are on fire. I rub them and take another sip of coffee. I heard my friends talking about how they took Adderall to finish their papers. I was desperate and so I turned and asked my friend,

“Can you give me Tylenol and tell me its Adderall?”

“Why? I can just give you Adderall” he responded, as if what I said didn’t make sense.

His arm reached out towards me with a small pill between his fingers. For a second, I thought I may have needed it, reached out-

“What am I doing?” [excerpt]


Surge is a student blog at Gettysburg College where systemic issues of justice matter. Posts are originally published at Through stories and reflection, these blog entries relate personal experiences to larger issues of equity, demonstrating that –isms are structural problems, not actions defined by individual prejudice. We intend to popularize justice, helping each other to recognize our biases and unlearn the untruths.